Solocast: What's Next?

In this solocast micro-episode, Dawn Baker talks about being stuck in the "what's next" mode. She describes how this can lead to a lack of fulfillment and suggests ways to get out of this limiting mindset. Brought to you by the Lean Out Confidence Course (see details below).

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Transcript

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Welcome to the lean out podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Don baker. Are you looking for a new approach to finding authentic and sustainable work-life balance? You've come to the right. Place. For inspiration. information. and a community. community. of like-minded. Professionals. Let's get to the show. Hello. Hello. Thanks for being here. Do you remember those Super Bowl Olympics or NBA finals commercials where an interview off camera would ask the winner, what are you going to do next? Maybe they still do those commercials. I'm not really sure because I rarely watch TV and I don't watch sports events, but I remember them from years ago. You just won X. What are you going to do next? I'm going to Disneyland. In our Lean in Hustle culture that trains us to view success with a very narrow definition, we're conditioned to always thinking about what's coming next, hit a milestone, finish a training program, get a degree, achieve some sort of pinnacle, land that big job, or get an important grant or client. Now what? In the world of rock climbing, there are two types of people. I'm particularly talking about sport climbing, which is a subtype of climbing that involves shorter athletic roots and dynamic moves. And this is mainly the type of climbing that I did for many years. Climbers in that genre often choose what is called a project route, and I've talked about this in both my book, lean Out and In the Lean Out Confidence Course. A project is a challenging climbing route you're going to work on for a while. If you can send it really fast. And what sending means is when you climb a route cleanly with no falls or mistakes. So if you send it really quickly, it's not really much of a project. The idea of a project is it's something that you have to chip away at, move by move, refining the sequences through many rehearsals and even just doing small sections of the climb. Well, when you finally do send the root, which often happens when you have done many refinements on previous days, and then you've rested for one or two days, and then on the first or second try on a fresh day, you actually get the root well then what the day is young and what are you going to do? So here's that question again. What's next? It's funny because my husband would send a project, sit down and take off his tight rock shoes and his gear, and then immediately start looking at the guidebook for his next project. Something harder, something more interesting and more challenging. He'd pour over the book and choose a new route and start working on it on the spot. I've always been baffled by this because when I would send a project, I'd be like, okay, I'm done for the day. It's time to go relax and eat something yummy and socialize and bask in the goodness of my success. I'm not alone. Many people bring, send beers for their moment of success and drink them no matter what time of day after they have achieved their rock climb. But also, my husband isn't alone either, because lots of different people do what he does. These two behaviors show that there's a wide range of ways people react to challenge and respond to success. But one thing I wanna point out through this example is there's a difference between creating an atmosphere of growth and living a lifestyle of checking off boxes. I've had numerous coaching clients and prospective clients who are mired in the idea of what's next. They've been box checking for far too long. They have a general lack of fulfillment due to a few different reasons. First of all, they aren't self-aware because they've been conditioned for years in medical school or other professional school and training to put themselves last. They don't even know who they are anymore. And this leads to the second reason, which is that they have an expectation hangover due to years of delayed gratification. I mean, how many years did we have to subjugate our own needs for the sake of patients? Clients, more senior trainees and attendings. All with the thought that one day it'll all be over and then everything will just be magically awesome. My job is gonna be amazing. I'm gonna make the perfect money and I'm gonna have this, all this autonomy. And often the reality ends up different. And so the person will say, is this all there is? I was hoping for more. The third reason that people get stuck in the, what's next idea is that they're still living in resident mode. And what I mean by that is they're worried about the next hoop they'll have to jump through because they have jumped through so many hoops for so long. And also they're worrying about what people are going to think of them. Newsflash, if you're out of training, none of this matters anymore. But again, we have been conditioned for so long with the other scenario. So being stuck on what's next leads to a lack of fulfillment and maybe even wanting to leave medicine or your profession because you feel stuck in depths in your responsibilities to others your burned out, and you have mental and physical suffering. All right, so what's the antidote to the problem of fixating on what's next to me? There are three things that help. The first is to focus on rest and celebration. If you've just made a big accomplishment, it's okay to chill out for a little while. You don't have to start working on the next big thing. This goes back to my example of the rock climbing. Allow yourself to have a little bit of time to bask in the gratitude and to celebrate your wins and then move on. This goes for other endeavors, such as entrepreneurship, research innovation, or leadership roles. Resting is not lazy or selfish. Resting is essential, and resting with an air of gratitude is even better. The second antidote is adopting a journey mindset. This thing that you accomplished is but a blip on the larger roadmap of your life. We all go through cyclical journeys of busy times, high achievement, and then maybe a period of cruising, and then also a period of struggle. Accept that you are where you are supposed to be right now. The third thing you can do is remember presence. Presence is actually my word for 2025. I usually pick a word every year, and I've done so for the past four or five years, and this year it's presence. The present moment is all we have. The future is just a thought, and that's a quote from Eckhart Toi, one of my favorite quotes. And a reminder, when I am feeling worried or restless myself, I always bring that quote up. To practice presence. Get in touch with your sensations. How is your body feeling? What sensations do you notice? Can you learn how to notice them more? Maybe by doing a short, regular practice of focusing on one of your five senses each day. What I mean by this is to take a few minutes for rubbing your palms together and feeling one hand on another. Maybe taking a moment to savor your morning coffee and not just lug it down. Notice the steam coming off the top and notice the aroma. Or maybe take a moment to intently look at a favorite painting. These are everyday tasks that can turn into mindfulness practices without you even really trying very hard. I love having clients learn mindfulness this way because it's very approachable. What is going on in your mind? Do you need to do a thought dump or like a journal entry to get it all out on paper so that you can see how past and future focused your thoughts actually are? You can do these anytime you're feeling overwhelmed by future possibilities or choices of direction. How about writing down three things each day that you're grateful for in the present moment? I hope these thoughts on getting out of the what's next mentality are helpful to you today. If you want more inspiration, resources, and everyday practices you can do to cultivate more presence, self-awareness, and authentic confidence, make sure you go and check out the Lean Out Confidence course. I still have the coupon code. Confident that's Confident with a T available for $100 off. This makes the course itself $97, which is an excellent value for the amount of practical content that you're going to receive. You can check it out@practicebalance.com slash courses. If you have any questions about this episode or about my course or anything in general, please make sure to reach out to me@practicebalance.com slash get in touch. Or you can always send me a DM on Instagram at practice balance. Thanks for listening to the lean out podcast. If you find these conversations inspiring and useful, please forward them to a friend and also leave a review on iTunes or Spotify so that other people can find them easier. If you want to get in touch with me, you can find me at my website, practice balanced.com, where you can subscribe to my newsletter and get updates regularly about new podcast episodes, blog posts, speaking, engagements, and coaching services. You can also support my work by buying my book, lean out a professional woman's guide to finding authentic work-life balance for yourself, a friend, family member, or coworker. Have a great day and we'll see you next time